The toilet is not a throne

Posted: May 25, 2010 in Toilet, Transport
Tags: , , , ,
Unfortunately it does not seem to be known that the toilet is a throne for man especially not on a train. I used to take the last train from Ulsan to Haeundae on a Friday night and on a couple of occasions I may have had to sit down and relieve myself.
The first time, I was coming to the end of ‘my sitting’, just listening to my Ipod, in no particular rush  and suddenly I am introduced to another passenger’s fist or foot against the door. I half ignore the noise stuck in this tiny acoustic box and proceed to clean up. My hand has just touched the toilet paper and I can only assume the same appendage is again connecting with the door. I mumble under my breath and pull my jeans up, take a breath and open the door to introduce myself to the passenger. The impatient passenger had moved on and I was alone in the toilet compartment of the train.
The second time I took a book to accompany me…. Bang, bang, bang. I just sat down and somebody is banging furiously on the door, I think however  that’s ok because there are plenty of toilets on the bang, bang, bang… I’ll just finish what I am doing then I’ll bang, bang, bang.
‘Yes’ I say. Silence,  a whole 30 seconds of it…. Bang. Bang, bang, bang. I rearrange my attire, pull the door open and confront my tormentor. It was a skinny, spruced and somewhat drunk middle aged woman leaning against the wall, her head bowed in shame. I stood there not moving, my eyes on her, I wanted her to look at me so I could show my distaste, her eyes never met mine and we parted. It was not until later when we had arrived at our destination that I saw the full effect alcohol had taken upon her as her lover clutching her tightly to save her from the impression that the ground would make upon her caked face.
Now whenever I take the train and need to use the toilet,  I find the best thing to do is use a similar technique to scaring small wild animals, by making a brief loud noise. Preferably not in Korean, as you do not want to be having a broken conversation with a complete stranger through a metal wall travelling at 80mph whilst sitting on the toilet. English, French, German and Spanish have all worked and banging has desisted.
© John Brownlie 2010
  1. Haha…That’s funny!!!I haven’t had the experience of riding the train yet.However,a very shocking potty experience for me didn’t even involve using a toilet.I was told by some other English teachers that occasionally you may see people using the bathroom in public in open places like the bus stop.Well,one day I was in one of the big cities with thousands of people walking about near a very popular park and other famous and large buildings.I was making my way to the subway when I passed by a bus stop & saw an older woman squating on the ground pottying with a huge mushy pile of human waste under her.Now,that was a shock because there were people standing there at the bus stop,many people walking around with kids,too.That was just kind of weird.Lol…it made me think about an elderly woman back in the states who wasn’t able to make it to a public bathroom and went behind a bush to urinate.Now,they wanted to lock her up for that.I could just imagine what they would want to do if they saw this lady in Korea.Oh,the beauty of getting to live in and experience other cultures…

    • elbear1 says:

      Wow that’s insane. I’ve never heard of that before in Korea and thankfully never seen it. How bizarre. I’d have love to have seen somebody else ‘training’ that woman – like some do with pets – if she didn’t get it right then rubbing her face in it – I would not be surprised to see that here. Ah the beauty that is Korean culture.

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