The world is still reeling from the economic crisis. Unemployment in the US is just under 10%, England and France are not far behind with almost 8% (April 2010). Greece’s economy has been in turmoil with a rescue package drawn up to save them. And what of Korea? Their unemployment is almost half of England at 3.8% (April 2010), so what are they doing different? With electronic giants Samsung and LG, car manufacturers KIA and Hyundai, they are contributing to Korea’s expanding workforce with their desire for a bigger global share in their respective markets.
One way to keep unemployment low in a country is to remove all bins in populated areas, that way people are either forced to carry their rubbish further, therefore increasing their journey or they can drop it.
We have now created a demand to clean the streets: Looking for woman, too old to be taught anything new, to clean up the dirty streets of Korea. Has to be stooped over from severe physical labour all her life. We will accept applicants who are disfigured and general social outcasts. The pay is poor, however you will be provided with a cart and bell.
Another way to lower unemployment, is to not rely on technology that makes things safer when crossing the street, in particular pedestrian crossings: Looking for a young man or a woman, who is flamboyant in style to help pedestrians cross the street while the green man is lit. Must have the ability to wave glowing neon sticks around in a commanding way. People with a background in dance will be given extra consideration. Preferred, but not necessary to have a large repertoire of costumes.
Also: Korean men required. To offer their mind and body to their country for just 21 months when you reach 19. Men with severe health issues and/or who are heavily tattooed may not be considered. Apply before 2014 to get free three compulsory months.
And: Needed attractive woman, needs the ability to speak in a microphone. Will spend their days working in an open air covered environment helping drivers park their cars. Must have a nice fast high pitched tone to greet drivers as they enter the car park. Must be able to count from 1-5 (in Korean) and have the knack of telling their left from their right. This job has a high staff turnover.
Finally: English teacher needed. Must have the ability to speak English and come from an English native speaking country. A teaching qualification is not required as we are basing employment solely on looks. Filipinos, blacks, latinos, asians, will be considered as a last resort. Pays well.
Jobs like these can help the nations economies thrive once more.
© John Brownlie 2010
Commentary on Korea 